Andrea 的个人资料Andrea's Life...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
|
|
7月10日 I have a secretI have a secret.
It touches my lips, enters my heart.
With a quick turn to the left,
A swift click to the ear.
It is lock inside.
It is safe inside.
I have a secret.
It brushes my faces, rushes over my skin.
With a smooth dodge to the right,
A silent shriek of delight.
It is gone from sight.
It is safe from sight.
I have a secret.
It flutters my heart, lights sparks in my eyes.
Curls my lips in a knowing smile,
A giggle escapes from within my soul.
It is held from you.
It is safe from you. 5月12日 illusions inside myselfi broke
inside around
my nerves scream of hipocracy
punishment
pain
punishment in pain
but hindered
pain i will not
hiding inside myself
no fakes smiles
i lost them last time
the fake smiles
are gone
i broke
you can't cope
and i can't deal
time for a break
time for penalty
time for space
time for intermission
time for God to take over
time to grow up
a missed chemical substance
allowed me to escape a life time away
living in illusion
years passed before i woke
but this way
i find another way to cope
another way to escape
Jesus i'm sick of hating
i don't want to hate myself anymore
i don't want to run around in this hamster wheel
i'm sick of being something i'm not
i'm sick of hating your creation
i'm sick of this anger burning me inside
i'm sick of this monster i feel like
Jesus.
i'm done
i'm broke
i'm here
i know You are too
i'm scared
don't leave me
please don't leave me
Jesus, help.
blessings round me
round and round
i see You never
You never give up on me.
living life step by stepliving life step by step
failure pierces my soul
withdrawing from all
withdrawing
wishing to be forgotten
please just all forget
forget
forget.
but He doesn't.
and they won't.
forget.....
living life step by step
learning to let go of failures
forgive myself
forgiving
learning to leave my hipocracy
to learn again to be real
real
real.
He wouldn't let me fake
they love me
real......
living life step by step
He wouldn't let me go
and they didn't let go
so solid ground
living life step by step. 5月10日 monsterits icy green nails pierce my heart
infecting my actions
the red venom seeps from its thin pale lips
poisoning my love
what have I become?
what hideous metamorphisis has happened within me
what have I become?
its thorns pierce my eyes and cheeks
draining any care
saliva found all over my fingers
turning them to prickling scales to cause hurt
what have I become?
what hideous metamorphisis has happened within me
what have a I become?
where did this anger come from? it burns and destroys
what have I become?
what happened to the one who sought to care?
what have I become?
why can't I succeed to be a solid friend? only to push away
what have I become?
what hideous metamorphisis has happened with me
what have I become?
5月6日 so coldwhy do i find a rigid beating heart in my chest?
what so cold stung my soul to leave me as this
this
coldness, icy touch to myself
not even my flood of tears
not even in the gasping of warmth
has moved my heart
what happened
what's wrong with me
I'm left confused not understanding where I am
where I've gone
where I've been
sometimes it's like the walls are closing in
the light is flickering
oh God
I don't understand
though I feel like I'm left in the dark
I close my eyes to see Jesus
close my eyes to see Jesus
close my eyes....
oh Jesus....
I need you Jesus.... 3月18日 where can I go?to be safe
no where
no where to be safe
isolation everywhere
in a crowded place
I want to escape
to run away from all this disgusting filth
in my life
I want to be safe
but I'm not
no arms
no heart
no physical touch
no tender spoken words
no
I'm not safe
to be safe
would to take breath away
to be safe
in heaven
in my Saviour's arms 3月17日 cry tonight cry tomorrow but don't cry, don't cry in sorrowcry tonight cry tomorrow but don't cry, don't cry in sorrow
cry those tears that sting your eyes that well up through your throat inside
cry the tears that release your heart stopping them from tearing you apart
cry the tears that flood your soul. cry the tears, cry the tears, no more
cry tonight cry tomorrow but don't cry, don't cry in sorrow
cry the tears for your brother and cry the tears for your father
cry for hope and cry for joy. cry those you do not know
cry the tears that fill your cup, cry for when you've had enough
cry tonight cry tomorrow but don't cry, don't cry in sorry
cry those tears for your sister, and cry those tears for your mother
cry for the moments that will leave, and cry those gifts you receive
cry until there is nothing more to cry about, cry and cry til you shout
but remember...
cry tonight cry tomorrow but don't cry, don't cry in sorrow 3月12日 some days...some days.....
I wish I wasn't here...
I wish I wasn't here...
disappear into a corner of my mind...
where all I can see if colours of life...
where all the clouds and mists and storms evaporate...
leaving room for sun...
explosion of green and yellow and red...
ones that overwhelm my soul with gladness...
all my troubles gone...
blinded by the colours of life...
all my sorrow slip away...
cannot handle the colours of life...
and my heart is picked up and placed back together...
into something grander...
colours of life.
3月5日 God is good.where to begin
to express the vastness of such a thought
of such a true and unexpressible
God.
recues my soul
gives healing to my heart
and strength
for one more day
anew,
each day.
I cannot change your mind,
convince you,
of the vastness true and unexpressible God
I know
His majesty cannot even be defined by
human language or vocabulary.
His glory cannot be written down by
ink of this world or of eternity's
His justice will never be found
by human life or even in the mind of humaness
His love is not comprehendable to the geniuses of mind
in this time, nor the next, neither the past
for we do not contain
cannot earn
will not learn
how to understand the mind, majesty, glory, justice, love of God
stand and fall in awe and amazement
I have a friend I would like you to meet
His name is Jesus
He is the Son of the God most High
the God of gods
the Lord of lords
I have this friend I would like you to meet
He name is Jesus
and He wants to be your friend
no matter what
forever.
want to meet Him? 2月13日 with nothing left...with nothing left
I lift my hands and praise
praise the One
the One
who fills my soul
with nothing left
I let my tears run down my face
and out of my soul
my soul
that aches so deeply
with nothing left
I let the anger and bitterness
melt away inside my heart
my heart
crying out for restoration
with nothing left
I plead for my sister to come home
I miss you very much
very much
I wish you understood that
with nothing left
I feel my heart tear in pieces
I feel my soul shatter because I care
I care
and I wish you did too
with nothing left
I praise You Jesus with anything I have
I am nothing before You on my knees
on my knees
I sing praises proclaiming Your glory
with nothing left
I will raise my voice and shout for joy
because I have nothing left in the way
in the way
of me and You Jesus 2月12日 why God?why God?
does she choose what she does.
why God?
does she push away those who love her the most.
why God?
does it not hurt anymore.
why God?
has my anger worn away my care, my love.
why God?
do I want to push her away.
why God?
do I want to forget her some days.
why God?
did you bring her into my life.
why God?
what is Your purpose.
why God?
must I wait not knowing the ending.
but...
thankyou God,
that this isn't the ending.
there is still hope.
still hope.
>let is go
>let is fly
>let the anger
>wash away tonight Jesus...help pleaseJesus
where are You?
but where am I?
I do not know who I am.
I find this person inside myself,
is not there.
hiding herself inside my heart and soul.
sufficated, I have sufficated her.
she is too fragile for this world.
she breaks too easily, too easily, too easily.
I woke again in terror.
in fear comes from thinking
that I was separated from the only One
the only One who really matter.
Jesus I'm living in illusion.
I just can't
can't
can't seem
I,
can't,
I can't!
seem to break out!
help me Jesus!
I'm losing myself inside myself.
lost, insane inside.
where is that fragile little girl who I have sufficated?
is she still alive?
or have I laid her to rest?
let her rest...
let her rest...
let her rest...
for she is too fragile for this world.
no.
please, Jesus.
I want that fragile little girl again.
not the one I've become to cope with illusion.
but that broken litttle girl who I laid to rest,
could You reviver her?
revive this little girl who You created.
and I sufficated.
Jesus please.
just one touch of Your cloak
heals
heals
she needs healing
I need healing
take the terror
take the mental insanity that begins to creep inside
TAKE IT AWAY
oh Jesus
oh Jesus
oh Jesus
I've strayed so far, so quickly
will you bring me home?
will you still take me home?
Jesus
what a creature am I
wretched, full of holes, full of darkness
Jesus, please
forgive this thing that I call a girl
forgive this thing that I call human
please forgive this think that I call a soul
because it is useless without You
Jesus
can You heal this?
Jesus
will You heal this?
Jesus,
help.
Jesus,
help.
Jesus, please heal me... 1月30日 so everyone....so everyone....
how was your day today?
my day...was a day...good...mellow...
no strength left
gone
upon the winds of a hurricane
dancing in the dust of a tornado
slipping through these frail fingers
sense of touching
touching loss
touching failure
touching the unseen
of all I wished
of all I hoped
and all I dreamed
touching nothing
nothing left.
I want to blame what is not yours
blame not mine
no
not mine
blame what is yours!
but what really isn't,
but was is,
mine.
what is mine?
what is not?
what is hell's blame?
what warped disease infests inside
I cannot blame this warped disease
for what is mine
what is,
mine.
sleep, sleep and do not wake
sleep, sleep and do not wake
No
wake! wake! wake!
I touch nothing
but I hold everything.
hope.
hope.
God, You are my hope.
You are my hope.
I have nothing in my grasp,
fleeting fatige failing frail fingers,
grasp nothing
yet,
I hold everything
everything
God,
You are everything
be everything
be the reason, I wake
help me
wake
wake
wake tomorrow.
12月21日 slowly, slowly.slowly, slowly.
one foot in front of the other.
baby steps.
slowly, slowly.
little by little, my feet begin to stop dragging.
slowly, slowly.
my head is turned.
my heart is healed.
slowly, slowly.
Jesus please take my hand and lead me on.
slowly, slowly.
hoping.
praying.
wishing.
holding.
holding.
holding.
slowly, slowly.
missing - missing ....... missing
slowly, slowly.
Jesus please take my hand and lead me on.
slowly, slowly.
Jesus.
please.
take my hand,
and lead me on.
slowly, slowly. 12月9日 a teen's hearta teen's heart
a teen's heart may be fragile,
and quite easily broken.
so many trials to go through,
and lessons to be learned.
tears flow freely
and smiles are harder to seek.
to find the inner self,
and live with it once it is found.
it's hard to not be intimidated by those around,
and to live the way that you think is right.
battles of personalities rage inside,
with many more to be fought.
love, hurt, rage, confusion, anxiety,
emotions to face
and to over-come
to discern how to use each one positively.
it thrills through the good times
pains when in sorrow.
good days are treasured,
stored up for the stormy ones.
lives come into the heart uninvited,
and change it forever.
so what may be fine, what may be wrong, may be,
and we need to learn to live with them.
these days are to be cherished.
to be put to use in life.
for the days that are lived have a purpose,
and they will help each and every one of us to grow up.
a life was given to each beating heart,
it's to be lived with a will,
a will to live. 11月30日 Let Gomy tears do not cease.
no.
not found from my eyes.
my tears do not cease.
drip.
drip.
escaping from my heart
leaking into my soul
drowning my spirit
Jesus!
please heal this heart,
cracked and broken.
Jesus!
rescue my drowning spirit
and teach me.
teach me.
to let go 11月17日 Sometimes...Sometimes...
Sometimes,
My heart aches
It cries,
Sobs, and weeps,
Yet, suppressed inside compressed
Becoming a hazard too combustible
Too full, my heart leaks stains on my sleeve
When this happens
I unbind, unwind, releasing captive
Upon once blank pages
Filled to full
The praise I cannot praise
Caused by illness
My mind will not let me
But then my heart aches.
Clearly written are the million things
I did not say to you
Leaving you, seemingly unreachable
But then my heart aches.
Darkness swarms around me
Loneliness touches my cheek with clammy fingers
Drowning in the many shades of grey to find
But then my heart aches.
Therefore, I split open my overflowing heart
Let the blood spill, ink blots they are
As the one who God has made me, - cries - prays - hopes.
And places her aching heart into His hands
Tursting her aching heart to His
Letting the ache fade as belief surfaces
One day I will praise
One day you will be reached
One day the sun will break forth in joyful beam
And my heart will ache no more. 10月15日 Hang OnHang On
The straight the narrow is not easy.
Gaining bruises, cuts, blisters treading the walk
Your tender bare feet against the rugged earth,
Surrounded by thick dark forests of uncertainty.
Our souls grow weary worn and tired.
Sometimes,
The wide road appeals to be smooth to life's touch
Yet, destruction only awaits there.
Sometimes,
We forget the rose's radiance
Amongst the slicing of the the thorn's prick
Yet,
A blessing in disguise.
Nights will come and God feels so far away
Even non-existent
All alone.
The ache is so deep there.
Fear not!
For He is still there and ever present
In every breath of your picture
your picture of life.
Persevere the pain
Stand, yet fall
You will grow,
Molded, pushed, prodded
Purified.
To become Christ-like
To be like Jesus
Made. |
|
|
